Advice for Loved Ones

Recognize that while you can be an essential part of supporting recovery, it is the responsibility of your loved one to do the recovery work.

Be patient and compassionate. Remember that these behaviors have served an important purpose in their life and letting go can feel frightening. Help your loved one to accept their feelings, support healthy ways to cope with pain, and encourage them to remain committed to treatment.

Communicate. Encourage your loved one to talk to you and listen in a non-judgmental manner. Be honest and encourage your loved one to be honest in order to build trust.

Understand that recovery is a process that takes time. Expect this process to be marked by struggles, setbacks, realizations, and change. Be supportive and encourage your loved one to be patient with their progress.

Recognize what you have control over and what you don’t. You are limited in what you can do to help. Support your loved one in their recovery efforts, but do not attempt to control their behavior.

When your loved one’s behavior affects you, be honest and express yourself without placing blame or guilt. Use “I” statements when discussing feelings. Try not to take your loved one’s actions personally, but do not enable the disorder by allowing yourself to be manipulated or by pretending that the problem is not serious.

Do not assume what your loved one needs. Ask questions, it will help them learn to express themselves.

Don’t focus solely on weight and food. Your loved one is a multifaceted individual and the issues underlying the eating disorder are complex.

Seek support for yourself to deal with your own feelings of frustration and helplessness. Practice self-care.

Encourage professional therapy and be willing to participate in family therapy or joint counseling as recommended.